Had a little bit of a scare today. came very very close to cutting today.
i just feel so disgusting and fat and worthless and i just wanted to do it so bad i was shaking. but a few of my friends who used to cut talked me through it. i haven't cut in a year i can't even believe that.
i have laxs,diuretics and diet pills in my system right now.
I'm a mess tonight girls and guys. so sorry to be posting such a weak post. i love being strong and hate when ppl see me not at my best. tomorrow i am going to enchated forest water safari. i am excited because i love it but i have to wear a bathing suit. FML. i look so bloated and fat. i am wearing a t-shirt over it. i know exactly what i will be thinking the minute i walk in there. i will feel like everyone is staring at me and thinking what a cow i look like. does anyone ever feel that paranoid?
how are you all doing? i hope it is well
i love you all <3 thank you for listeningg